Listening to emotive music never helps but I find it relaxing, although when I reflect on the situation it seems awfully depressing- piano driven music, lonely room, one light on, late night, alone.
I do get lonely you know, often.. that's why I like to stay with Sam, his family are fantastic and it prevents this situation exactly, my thoughts invading and making me somewhat edgy in a 'meh' kind of way. I can lean on my desk with my eyes closed and know I won't fall asleep for the thoughts clouding my mind.. not that I really want to fall asleep on my desk.
I like a line from Creep by Radiohead, and have been thinking that especially tonight.
I want you to notice when I'm not around
Or more to the point really, I just wonder if people think about me from time to time, and hopefully they're not bad things, but whether they are or they aren't, they're spending that time thinking of me.
I don't care what you think as long as it's about me
Good old Fall Out Boy eh? Considering I never used to like them at all I've grown quite fond of them, they're good for making me feel better. Except, I do care. Unfortunately.
But I better finish this up as it's dragging out and becoming a tire for anyone who has the misfortune of reading this, but my conclusion for tonight is that, how often to people think, or talk about you? Or me, in this case. Let's make this one about me for a change, although if you can relate it to yourself, even better. I'd just like to have this hope that people consider me from time to time- I'd like to think I don't parade myself or try and grab attention like many people, but subtley try and help my friends, which sounds big headed.
Mergg, I type about nothing at all.
Thanks for reading, anyone.